There has been a lot of discussion on the beliefs and emotions that the word “attachment” evokes. And, I believe that as time goes on with DEAR FRIENDS, that the amount of posts that have an “attachment” tag will increase quite a lot. There’s a good reason for this.
(Somewhere during my professional days, the term “BABY GLUE” was used by a teenage mother, rather than the proper “attachment.” Somehow young mother’s and young children found the concept of “glue” better than “attachment.” So that’s how I got from proper use of attachment to “connecting” with “BABY GLUE.”)
In the post titled “Brain 101” you will note that at some point in development, the Limbic system begins to record all those variables called emotions, beliefs, and etc. We are beginning to realize just how early that recorder is turned on. This is the very beginning of “attachment.”
Here’s a clue: upon birth, the infant can recognize her mother’s voice, smell and taste. Within hours to days, the infant can also recognize Dad’s (or partner’s) voice. How does this happen? While in utero, babies “eavesdrop” on every uttered sound of Mom. They are attuned to Mom’s heartbeat and heart rate. Olfactory cells must be working at some point to detect distinct mothering odor.
That’s right. Before birth, the gluing process between mother and baby (and father and baby) has already started. Although we can’t have the absolute, definitive research, we are pretty sure that babies receive and record emotional content from Mom before birth.
Upon birth and after birth, each baby is a fantastic recording computer of information. Taking everything in and keeping it stored in some region of their Limbic systems. Just waiting until they are older, to have the ability to REACT to all that stored material.
“You can’t give a baby too much love.” I believe this to be true. Caretakers of babies need to build a solid foundation for establishing trust, safety, and consistency. To meet baby needs. To soothe and comfort. Making eye contact–always looking for the baby to respond to your eye contact. To show each baby a smiling caretaker, who approves and enjoys being with the baby. Playing with baby (easy does it, always being gentle.) It is these vital areas of LOVE that are the key ingredients in BABY GLUE.
Now hear this: starting at about age TWO, babies have the ability to reach back into their recordings and begin to REACT to all that old, stored data, while ingesting every megabit of new information. If a baby has enough BABY GLUE, the “terrible two’s” the “trying three’s”–all the way up the developmental ladder, will have more joyous celebrations than fearful lamentations.