The often simple response of “NO” is usually not so simple to the one receiving the “NO.”
Saying “NO” to a two-year-old is a teaching word, followed by a short explanation. Usually works for a short while.
Saying “NO” to a four-year-old can be an opening into the dance of “WHY?”
Saying “NO” to a seven-year-old can lead to the “underground” of quiet.
Saying “NO” to a thirteen-year-old can evoke a stampede into all sorts of “you don’t care/understand.”
Saying “NO” to a seventeen-year-old will usually promote a higher degree of determination to be an individual, apart from the adult who is issuing the “NO.”
So here’s the List of “10 Ways of NOT Saying NO”
1.Let me think about it and get back to you.
2.If you were in my place, how would handle it?
3.That sounds good, AND . . . .
4.How do you suggest we go about negotiating this problem?
5.What do you think the consequences might be?
6.How do you think this will affect your …(family, boss, child, etc)?
7.Is there a better (more creative) way to get your needs met?
8.How does this help your …(family, job, school, etc)?
9.Why don’t you think about it and get back to me?
10. Sounds like you’d like to be able to . . . (have, want, or get something).
Let me know how any of these work for you. Do you have another one to add to the list? It seems like it is so much better to a gentle listener, rather than a determined authority figure–unless a life or limb is truly at immediate risk.