Children WATCH the adults int their lives, to determine their own Comfort Zones. It is so important that we all realize that we ARE ON STAGE when it comes to young eyes, hearts and brains.
Without realizing it, we humans develop habitual, comforting routines. This is why COMFORT FOOD is so popular–it allows us to indulge in a personal tradition. We can consume sugar and fat without feeling guilty. We tell ourselves that a little of our comfort food is better than enduring the stress, anxiety and worries of our world. And sometimes, that dive into the refrigerator, when no one is around, is just what we need for a feel good moment.
We also have comfort zones that have nothing to do with our dietary habits, but everything to do with protecting our inner core of who we are. We all have them. We can call them lifestyles, habits, addictions, personalities, and so on. But basically they are our own personalized defense mechanisms, providing us with as much comfort as possible.
THE STAGE that we watched and learned from in our childhood, continues to live on in our adult lives. We usually take from that stage of life some absolutes. For instance, “I will never be like my mother,” or “If it was good enough for Mom, it’s good enough for me.”
Here are some lingering favorites: “I can always bully my way out a problem;” “I can eat my way out of a problem;” “I can ignore all problems;” and, “I can use a pill to solve my problems.” (Or, add your favorite here.)
Whatever our PERSONAL COMFORT ZONES may be, some will be helpful and some will not be. Some can be downright destructive.
The wise parent is aware of their child’s creation of PERSONAL COMFORT ZONES. A child learning to cope with stress with appropriate self-soothing, a child learning to celebrate with internal rewards, a teenager learning to adapt to loss and challenge with compassion and determination will all assist each one in becoming an adult with true capacity for personal success.
Be gentle with yourself and your child.